When I was a kid I watched a lot of murder mysteries with my parents, who were both fans of the genre. In this case we aren’t going to bird-dog the tried and trusted whodunnit since we know who did it – I let the cat out of the bag last entry. It was the North Koreans, since the butler scuttled off somewhere safe.
Much of the past year remains a mystery, however since I lost a large chunk and a significant part of my brain,as well as a few tshirts, last Christmas with my family, a book launch, and my daughter’s 11th birthday. So I’ve been steadily collecting all the bits and pieces of this puzzle, mostly from family and friends as well as hospital staff but this week stumbled across a document that changed everything for me and filled in most of the gaps: the Attending Physician’s Statement from when I was first admitted to Caulfield Hospital, completed by my favourite doctor Dan.
So, it seems like I arrived in Melbourne in August last year, on vacation, and went for a lengthy stroll with my best friend Brian (since we both dig walking) through Melbourne General Cemetery to Queen Victoria Market where we stopped for brunch – raw oysters, which became chief cause in my mind for what happened next: a migraine and nausea for a couple of days before I traveled down via public transport to my Mum’s place in Mornington and promptly passed out. Cue ambulance to Frankston Hospital, where I was found to have infective endocarditis of the heart (an infection of the endocardial surface of the heart) and a Vitamin K deficiency, and then transferred to the Alfred for open heart surgery. Immediately before this was one of the rare occasions I came out of the medicated stupour – luckily since my wife and daughter had arrived from Japan., I then faced up to the toughest decision I’ve ever had ,when the docs offered me the options of a mechanical valve (which appealed to my dumb Terminator/Cybermen inclinations, but a lifetime of anticoagulant medicine, or a replacement valve taken from pig that would need replacing every year . Fortunately I think I was so doped up on morphine I passed out before making a decision – which then fell to Yoko and she made exactly the right call.
They simply cleaned the heart and repaired any damage. (I don’t know if “simply” is the right word, but the medical staff did a miraculous job). But next cab off the rank, in September (fortunately while still in hospital) was what the medicos called an intracranial brain haemorrhage, but most people call a stroke , and another operation, this time on the ol’ noggin, to slice and dice the affected part. Another magnificent job, I say. After that a spot of R&R in the Caulfield – mostly physio but also neuropsyche treatment from a bunch of the best medical staff I could ever have asked for.
Finally, in thr first week of February,I got discharged and pretty much raced back to Tokyo to see my family, work out some odds and ends – and yeah, I do believe I’m almost there.
Obviously,I haven’t really had a chance to properly hawk my latest novel #BulletGal, which is based on the 15-issue comic book run I did. But sales of this – and actually all my books – are pretty crap to be honest. I’m thinking about doing another novel, but do wonder what the real point is aside from vanity. It’s exhausting and there are other things I should be focusing upon.
And realistically I doubt my publishers can afford to give me another cab off the rank at this rate – and who would blame them?
Anyway, cutting to the chase, if anyone is at all interested in taking a squiz, the book’s just $22 via #BookDepository, with no postage required, here.Otherwise, via US #Amazon it’s $10.95 and £9.98 through Amazon UK.
By the way, just so you know… the docs didn’t sit around taking mid-operation happy snaps so far as I know… Nah, I’m the unprofessional git who stole the images off the Net to add colour and freak myself out s bit. Is that morbid and disturbing? I guess it is a trifle. But I did draw the line at ones of poor other geezers with staples holding their scalps together, And hey, I was just treated to a contemporary labotomy and therefore cannot be blamed. Ack… :p
Now all this navel gazing’s out of the way I hope to return to regular service shortly…
Andrez Bergen / Little Nobody 